"The family - that dear octopus from whose tentacles we never quite escape, nor, in our inmost hearts, ever quite wish to."
-Dodie Smith
The plane touched ground and waltzed slowly on the runaway but my thoughts were already racing towards home. As it was way past the kids bedtime, I had made arrangements to be picked up from the airport by a friend. I arrived to a very silent house.....I unlocked the door and stepped inside and could feel my face muscles arranging themselves into a big grin at the thought of having arrived home finally. After living in closets the last 16 months ( ok :) that was an exaggeration....but what can one expect from university accomodation ), the mere fact that I can stretch my arms without bumping into any walls widened my grin further !!!!!
I raced to the bedroom and flung the door open to see the family blissfully sleeping. I tiptoed to my husband and nudged him awake.......I still could not stop smiling, I could not believe I had come home. After months of restlessness prior to going away, the periods of indecision, the time away, the hectic periods of study, home seemed a long way to where I had been. But not anymore......we hugged and kissed and I lunged forward to hold my still sleeping four year old in my arms. I could feel the tears tugging at the corner of my eyes.......all this time, what I had missed the most was hugging my kids. I could not wait to inhale the baby smell emanating from my son and when I heard his sleepy voice utter "amma" ( mom in our mother-tongue Tamil), the tears fell freely on my cheeks. I hugged him tight and showered him with kisses and guess I knew he was fully awake when he went on to ask me "what have you got me?"...........my little brat has been plaguing me with a long list of what he wanted ( which was mostly Ben10 variations) while I had been in Sweden and he could not wait to lay his hands on what mummy would have got him.
With him in my arms, I sat there gazing at my girl, still sleeping amidst the ruckus and the lights switched on. My seven year old sleeping beauty never ceases to amaze me. I guess most parents never fully get adjusted to see their babies grow up so quickly. I still remember holding her as a colicky and quite a high maintenance baby :) in fact I had named her mini "frowning glory", a title that I gladly passed on from my own college days. But seeing her now blossom into this lovely, charming and concerned individual makes me wonder if she really is my daughter and that no babies had been switched at the hospital :))
I had a very protective childhood with my parents hardly letting me out of their eyesight. Being their only child, I was always their utmost priority. However here I was going after my own career aspirations leaving my kids to fend for themselves.......guess this is something that I would never easily forgive myself for. I think they were very brave to be away from their mother at such a tender age and I hope in the coming years I will be able to make up for their lost time with me.
But for now, I am revelling in the warmth of their tiny bodies and forgetting my fears of the future, safe in the haven of their embrace.
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