I wait for a figure…..er, a numerical one in this case that would cause my innards to shrink notably.
-"33.50$ for a fortnight”
- “Really? Whereas it is 12.50$ for one visit??”
- “Yes”
I should have wondered what the catch was but then I rushed in as the proverbial quote “Fools rush in…”. Even for someone with very little mental agility when it comes to calculations, I do the math and figure out the membership would work out better if I were to make two visits a week to the sacred site.
- “So do you have any cancellation fees?”
- “Nope, just 14 days notice.”
Boredom is starting to set in the tones of the junior serving me…..perhaps at least here, I should have stopped and asked myself twice……but no, I was too taken in by Dame Providence and also anxious that the 17 year old might hike up the prices if I keep pushing her buttons of ennui.
- “Allright, I will take the membership, you are sure about the fees right?”
The teen just catches herself in time from doing an eye-roll and gives me a grimace which I interpret as a polite smile and am sure if DaVinci had been around, he would have made billions titling it the “Mona Lisa – II” or perhaps better “The Return of the Jaconda”.
I hurriedly fill the application form and sign my long scrawl with a flourish. The girl fills in the amount and then slowly enunciates the figure for my benefit.
- “75$ for a one-off admin deposit along with the fortnightly deduction – total amount comes around to 120$”
As I am still digesting the news of the 75$ sprung upon me, I dont fully understand the extra 11.50$ she has tacked on – perhaps fleecing me for the indubitable service she had provided.
I try to summon the right dosage of anger, but incredulity is still reigning high in my voice :
- “Should you not be telling me about these fees before I signed the registration form?”
- “Yeah I should have, I am sorry – are you still interested in the membership?”
I am starting to palpitate, even without stepping into my bodypump classes that are due to start any minute. I eye at the clock and the girl at the reception – I know I am going to regret the new few minutes of my life where I go against my common sense and my financial radar and with an imperceptible nod of my head, wilfully become the sacrificial goat at the reception of the town’s (perhaps sole) fitness club. I enter into the classes, the enthusiasm that I had a few minutes earlier all dissipated and in its place a sour aftertaste left by the monetary transaction.
An hour passes by quickly and though less enthralled by the audio tracks for the bodypump routine, I am not disappointed by the class and am hoping to frequent these sessions more in the future. With a pounding heart and quaking legs, not all as a consequence of the rigorous drill that I had subjected myself to, I drive home. No sooner had I entered the house, did I bemoan my gullible nature and render my narration with the right amount of indignant anger and histrionics to Anna, my better half (literally in all matters, especially fiscal) and the financial comptroller of the family. Contrary to my hopes, I fail to evoke any sympathy in my audience……..the end result, temperature within the house falls further by a few more degrees despite the double heating provided by the reverse cycle air conditioner and the fan-heater propped next to me.
Blessed with a metabolism that even His Maker would envy and a bevy of friends willing to play badminton almost every day of the week, Anna does not understand my need to bequeath a substantial amount of money every once in a while on gym memberships. By far, Anna is the most unconventional and broad-minded Indian husband I have seen amongst my circle of friends, with a healthy respect for his equal, despite my exasperating and futile attempts at maturity. However, given my past history with fitness programs and sporadic visits to gyms, Anna is of the opinion that the only toning that these expenses have sustained are that of our bank balance L He firmly believes that any weight loss that I might have gained is more out of guilt with all the money I throw away on these sessions rather than attending them.
A few years ago, I would have bristled at the slightest excuse despite the validity of his accusations but lately I have been seeing the error of my ways and so I rather dejectedly but solemnly give him my word that I really would see this membership through. I have always been a couch potato, never one for stringent exercises or fitness regimes, but lately I realise I am not getting any younger and hence the serious and much-needed closer look at my health. Given that my food intake has reduced quite drastically lately and I am reaching emaciated standards (according to my family), I am resorting to rather painful attempts to incite my hunger pangs. Hopefully my exertions might pay off but still that has not stopped my family from wagering against my gym visits J
Anyone else wanna place a bet on my fitness expeditions ?????
PS: It has been three days since my last gym visit as I am still crawling around like the house like an octogenarian painfully aware of every muscle in my bodyL
No comments:
Post a Comment