-Anon
It was a lovely summer evening in Milan (Italy) and I was out enjoying a leisurely walk with a friend. We had just finished having an aperitivo (one of those lovely Italian "happy hour" customs where u pay for a drink and hit the all-you-can-eat buffet) and were walking along the street having a gelato. One of the nicest things about Italy (and most of Europe I believe) is that you can step out of your room, walk a few paces and be enveloped in something to delight your senses.....on this particular day, there was a band playing music and some people dancing in what seemed to be a street square.
While we stood there rooted to the spot, my attention was diverted by this little girl who appeared to be begging. Well, for someone like me given my roots, seeing little kids beg on the street was nothing new, but this was Italy and even though there were plenty of people busking around, I have hardly seen people approach you directly for money. Besides, the little girl did not have a needy look about her, she was indeed a cherub, 6 or 7 yrs old, dressed in a plain but clean frock.......rosy cheeks and a tiny body that still boasted of childish chubbiness.
I soon lost track of her as we continued walking down a few streets but while we were sitting down, waiting for a bus, I saw the little girl again. This time she was hurriedly eating a gelato and trailing behind a lady who was in a terrific temper.....it was clearly evident that the lady was very angry with the child. She stopped and yelled at the child in a language I could not decipher and the child scampered away and I could see her approaching few strangers seated on the other side and again ask them for money. The lady, whom I assume was the mother, given the compelling resemblance, was also standing and watching her. The little girl would turn back, her attention diverted from the dripping gelato, look at the mother and approach another stranger and do the begging act all over again.
It tore my heart practically - I am a mother too, I had left behind two kids back home but was able to relax here in a foreign land, rest at peace confident that they were in very good hands. But here was another kid, practically my daughter's age, forced to solicit complete strangers for money. My friend and I were completely at a loss, not understanding what was happening before us. Was it a one-off incident (as the child looked quite well-tended), perhaps the mother was forcing the child to get busfare? Was the gelato in the child's hands, a gift of love from the mother or just a bribe in getting her to do what the mother wanted? Were we too quick to jump to conclusions not knowing what was the story behind this lady or the child? Not that it would have been acceptable if the girl was put to begging by someone other than the mother, but still a tiny part of me, that believed "bad mother" was an oxymoron, wished that the lady was not the mother.
That night when I called my daughter to speak to her, my heart reached out to this unknown little girl and hoped and prayed fervently to whatever saint that watches over such little kids, that her innocence and childhood would not be ripped out of her prematurely before she reached her adult years.
A couple of days ago, I read that a 41 yr old Tasmanian woman has pimped her 12 yr old daughter to help her drug habits. The mother was a child abuse victim herself, so it is highly probable that the sanctity of the human body is lost to her and perhaps she views sex as nothing but a tool of manipulation or a means of getting money. But still as an abused child herself, the mother should have understood what it means to lose one's innocence at such a tender age. While there are protective and concerned mothers out there unintentionally losing their daughters to such preying monsters, here was a mother who chose to shower on her offspring, what she had endured as a child herself.
What is it that makes some mothers protect their off-springs at any cost and others to preserve themselves at the cost of their children? I see greed, avarice, addictions, societal pressure (I am still reeling in shock over the alleged involvement of the mother in the honour-killing of Nirupama Pathak's case) and in some genuine cases, poverty pushing mothers to play a role that most of us find it not just hard to fathom but given our protective and nurtured upbringing hard to digest as well. What pushes these mothers over the edge; what makes them cross over? Are the rest of us, passing judgement on these women truly different from them or do we (regardless of what culture or upbringing we might have had) have the seed of such perversity dormant in us waiting for an inopportune or weak moment to manifest in ourselves?
It is indeed sad that when people around the whole world are celebrating Mother's day in honour of motherhood, glorifying the traits of mothers and paying tributes to them, some kids will never be able to look upon this day as such. Childhood is such a precious gift and when kids are made to outgrow this early through no fault of theirs and especially by the mothers who are meant to cherish and protect them - what can I say, it is indeed a shameful and pitiable world that we live in.
PS: I do realise the content of my blogs are getting heavier and heavier (and lengthier too:)) by every post......in all likelihood, it is turning out to be a community-watch :) I apologize but sometimes the happenings in the society do influence me greatly and hence my writings too......we do not live in an insular world unfortunately !!!!
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