Bonds of love......

"Valentine’s Day is when a lot of married men are reminded what a poor shot Cupid really is.”

~Unknown

The moment I say I am from India, most people ask me if I have visited the Taj Mahal. My answer to them is usually a sheepish "no". Being an only child, you tend to be overcompensated in some areas - in my case, my mom's over-protectiveness. Fearing that some calamity might befall her only progeny, she always made sure I never left her sight, thus curbing any kind of travel that might take me away from her. Yet, as weird as parents can be, she sent me several thousand kilometres apart, entrusted into the care of someone she had hardly met, in the name of marriage. Even after crossing over to the other side of the parenting fence, I still find it hard to comprehend the oddity of parents. But yeah, I am digressing as usual.....anyway back to the legend of the Taj.

There are historical claims that this ancient mausoleum once used to be a Hindu temple, but the obvious story known to the world is that this architectural wonder was built as an "elegy in marble" by a Mughal emperor for his dear wife and queen Mumtaz Mahal. Now any woman with a few grey cells (and a few grey hairs perhaps) might wonder why such an elaborate and elegant gift to a wife without any strings attached, especially a posthumous gift.....and especially this being a Muslim king with a penchant for women. Well, we all know the famous adage "love is blind", so lets skip reading the fine print. However despite my jaded outlook, the splendour of Taj Mahal has remained undiminished and has always been known as a symbol of love and an eternal tribute of a husband's loyalty and love to his wife.

So yesterday I wake up and still snuggled warm under the covers, ask my hubby about Valentine's day. It is something that we have never paid any attention to all our married life and this year was not going to be any different. But then some women are very optimistic and I happen to be one of them, ah well atleast lately :) He then tells me that if he had the money, he would build me a room fitted with all kinds of technological gadgets to keep me amused and cater me with all facilities. There would literally be no need to step out of the room for anything.

Even before I could revel in the pleasure his words bring me, my last (and least) remaining grey cells kick into action and still hazy, I open my eyes just in time to watch that cheeky smile flitting across his face. Ha, my female counterparts, aren't we so used to looking the gift horse in the mouth :) I usually like to have my sleep-ins during the weekends, so the kids and hubby are used to having some peace and quiet in the house till I wake up. Once I am up, then being a compulsive cleaning freak, I start fretting about things strewn about and the house being in a mess. Generally my weekends start with my whining decibels higher than the whirring of any cleaning equipment I am operating.

So when my darling hubby dreams of having me interred in my sophisticated and modern mausoleum, my warning bells do go ringing big time. And there I was imagining my own Taj Mahal, when all he wanted was to turn me into another Mrs.Rochester :) Now you wonder why I treat the story of the Taj Mahal with a liberal dash of the salt !!! I look at him balefully and before I slink back under the covers I tell him not to forget to add a connecting door to the garage from my room. He then breaks into a big goofy grin that I cannot resist returning.

Life with me is a bed of roses........what, can't I pretend for a while.......allright, it is rather a bed of rose shrubs, beautiful as it is with blooming blossoms, you also have the thorns to contend with. But my personal gardener, given his saintly patience has taken care of the shrub, tending to it day and night and giving his utmost care. At times the bush tends to run wild but he prunes it, despite the thorns that leave him bleeding, and shapes it in a way that makes not just his heart to glow but also brings the beauty of that rose-plant to the world.

Nobody is perfect, but with the true sense of hope and faith and a dash of love, one can see beyond the other's imperfections. After all isn't the message of Valentine's day that of promise and hope???

Happy Roses, my gardener :)

Valentine's Day :)

"Today is Valentine's Day. Or, as men like to call it, Extortion day."

- Jay Leno

Yesterday, I had taken the kids to Southbank, hectares of large rolling parklands along the river - one of the major tourist attractions of the city. I usually love the shady promenade along the river, the tiny rainforests and the tranquil Buddhist temple......the aura of that place really quietens a restless soul. For a moment or two, you can find yourself transported to a different world. Of course a few more paces deep into the parklands and you will come to the greens and the indoor beach littered with kids and parents and then you land with a deafening crash onto reality :)

I had totally forgotten about Valentine's day yesterday despite Madhu showering on us more of her artwork and thoughtful gifts. Both Anna and I do not make a big deal out of this hallmark holiday, it is just another routine day. So when I stepped onto South Bank, I was slightly shocked to see the place overflowing with couples, er....with abundant display of emotions, or should I say passion, ah well you get my point. I don't consider myself a prude but when I have kids in tow, I get worried of what questions might pop out of their mouth.

"But mummy, why are we walking so fast.......my legs hurt."

My brains hurt too, please don't ask me anything, please please.......

"Did you not want to see the slides?"

"Yeah, allright.......Mugi, shall we race then.......ok mummy try to catch us"

Oh no, what have I got myself into??? Maybe I should have spent more time in IKSU :((

But then my thoughts started swirling too keeping in pace with my racing legs and I started questioning the significance of this day. Is it not enough that we spend our lifetimes thinking inwardly of our own lives, our ambitions, our goals, our family, our kids.......do we need another day to work more on ourselves? Or is this a day for those absent minded men who are not wired to remember anniversaries and birthdays but will thankfully remember this day owing to the day being a hallmark moment and will have a chance at making up to their partners? Or another day for couples to settle their differences and wine and dine so they can spend the next 364 days working on being different? After all, when you are in love, do you need a special day to declare it, every single day would be Valentine's day, right? Why do we give in to peer pressure and go around doing or buying things for the mere sake of keeping tradition? I am sure there would have been plenty of chats going around the offices today along these lines........

"Ha, do you know what we did for Valentines yesterday?"

Sighs inwardly, do I really care.....

"Yeah sure, am all excited to hear about it. And you will never believe what I got last night "

Duh.....

Call me jaded or maybe I am suffering from "these grapes are sour" syndrome, but with plenty of problems facing one's survival in this world today, don't you agree with me that this day should be extended to spread more love and kindness to people who desperately need them, especially in these times of recession? Can we not think outside the box and make this day not just about couples but one where instead of mere words on cards, chocolates, flowers and lingerie, we try to reach out to people with meaningful gestures? I remember this incident in a cafe in the US sometime during the festive season (last December), where people started a chain reaction of paying bills for perfect strangers. If you call this day as a day of love, let that love be extended to perfect strangers (albeit deserving ones) too.......let us try make the world a better place to raise our kids in.

You are welcome to critique my thinking or beat me over my post but only after you do something nice for someone other than your partner and put a smile on their face :)) I am sure your partner will also wholeheartedly appreciate this instead of a bunch of flowers that will be going to go the bin a few days later or the chocolates that he/she is going to regret eating a few minutes later. As for the diamonds.......ah come on, which world are we living in :)))

Happy Valentine's day..........