Yummy Mummies ???

"I can't understand why a stick-insect thin woman is desirable, - except maybe she doesn't cost as much to feed, since she doesn't eat anything except grass."

-- Brian Marshall

A flashy title cropped up on Yahoo's gallery site and of course, given my natural curiosity, I quickly got sucked into the post. I clicked on "Hot Celebrity Mamas" to find some gorgeous women; the list showing only super-models and Hollywood actresses. However on looking at the pictures, the emotions that dominated me were surprisingly more of pity and revulsion. Let me explain the latter first. I look at Angelina Jolie and she is merely stick and bones in that picture - this used to a beauty that most women once envied for her captivating looks and luscious body; however today the image shows a body that is shrinking at an alarming rate. What's sad is that Yahoo entertainment still finds her a yummy mummy despite her skinny femur sticking out and making her a specimen more suitable for anatomy classes.

I look at the other pictures and find some really enviable bodies; however reading the captions below quickly strip the beauty of these pictures for me. These are mums that have gone back to the catwalk and their acting careers barely weeks after the babies were born. Of course with women juggling career and motherhood, most mothers return back to work with very little time to spare for their newborns. Being guilty of the same.....er, crime seems to be a bit too strong a word, let's say atypical behaviour......I am in no way criticising these women for returning back to work. However the vigorous exercise and dieting routines these women subject themselves to, within days of giving birth is most definitely something I object to.

I am peeved about two things here, first the standards of beauty are slipping greatly and are no longer what it used to be. And secondly women who are in a position to change the status quo of the fashion world still succumb to peer pressure and play along with its ludicrous demands.

No more luscious curves, just boring straight lines !!!!

I come from a culture where gaunt and scrawny looks were not something that appealed to the mass. I spent most of my teen years yearning to put on weight as "curvaceous" was the magic word back home. The western world of fashion and Hollywood were also once dominated by hourglass beauties......let us not forget the famous pin-up girls, who flaunted their curves for the world to see. However curvy and buxom figures are now figures of the past.

Why is the fashion world so obsessed with the "thin-culture"? With every passing day, the models that throng the catwalks look more and more like ailing patients in the throes of some debilitating sickness. What I don't understand is that if you and I find this kind of beauty revolting along with the majority of the masses, why is this world still dictating 'thinness' as the code of beauty? Are men in the real world attracted to women who are nearly ironing-board flat and have non-existing derrières?

When occasionally, an actress fails to conform to the exacting standards of Hollywood and is comfortable in her skin as a curvaceous woman, she takes the flak from the media and the fashion world. But that doesn't faze Christiana Hendricks in the least, the "Mad Men" star still flaunts her curves and has earned the title of "buxom" beauty amongst the waifish looking stars. "Go girl" is what I say to her and hope more of them follow her lead.

I would be happy if such ridiculous body standards are limited to just the tinsel town, but no, I see everyday women and girls doing the same. Look around you and you will see today's teens and women, being led astray by these women of fashion and silver screen, thus falling victims to anorexia and other debilitating dieting disorders. The other day, hearing a comment from a ridiculously 'flat' woman about having to do an extra round of exercising at the gym as she indulged herself in eating a piece of cake, only makes me want to hit the roof. Lady, that extra piece of cake if deposited on your skeletal body would definitely bring you back to the land of living but on second thoughts, that delicious and decadent cake does not deserve you :( I am not by any chance beating up women who are naturally slender by way of their genes or metabolism just the ones who ridiculously starve or exercise, thus succumbing to uber-thiness.

Post-natal bodies, gorgeous but at what price??

Given the short-livedness of one's career in the fast changing world of fashion, I can see these new mums beating themselves in the name of fashion and following extreme diets and strenuous exercises in order to reclaim their star positions. Some of them have had C-sections and have still pushed their bodies doggedly to get back into shape in alarmingly short periods. Now what trend does this create? Just peer pressure on other new moms to get rid of their pregnancy fat and jump into the exercising and dieting bandwagons. I bet the "hot bod mama" trainers are in high demand given the reputation they have earned in pushing out gorgeous bodies back onto the catwalk within weeks of their deliveries.

But this is where one has to stop, take a deep breath and think. Is there any real need for these women to rush back to the limelight again? Are these women with pressing mortgages and monetary needs or having to feed extra mouths? Allright, let me cut them some slack and not question about their personal needs or what motivates them to such desperate measures to push their bodies?

However we are talking about supposedly smart and intelligent women who have managed to gain a worldwide reputation and established a successful name for themselves. Don't you think they would have some leeway in deciding to take some time-off after the child-births? Won't they be in a position to say "no" to the demands of the fashion world and take their time in allowing their post pregnancy bodies to regain its shape naturally with the aid of moderate diet and exercises? Instead they fall for the piper's tune and perhaps in doing so not only increase the peer pressure for other mothers but also push the fashion industry to carve such exacting demands from other models as well. "If Heidi Klum could do it, why not you??" would perhaps be the oft sang tune.

We have protective societies for every other abuse, how come there is nothing to stop or advise these narcissistic women that treat their bodies so cruelly? Now don't give me the lines "the body will tell you if you are overdoing it".......maybe these bodies are howling by now but there are no ears that listen to them. On the other hand I am not advocating to be couch potatoes like me, but everything in moderate is my motto.

I hope the women reading this will support me in what I am saying. All I ask is to be comfortable in your skin, in your body and not succumb to any kind of pressure. If you are doing something to improve your bodies, do it because you want to do it and not because the women around you are doing it. The difference is if you choose the latter, you will not be motivated enough to stick to it. Now that I have ranted some of my peeves, I wish to conclude this post with the following lines:

"Do not dictate standards to the world just because you are able to keep it unnaturally; secondly do not let the world dictate standards to you just because other people are doing it."

Thank you !!!

PS: Photos courtesy of Yahoo Entertainment and Sunday Morning Herald

Bonds of love......

"Valentine’s Day is when a lot of married men are reminded what a poor shot Cupid really is.”

~Unknown

The moment I say I am from India, most people ask me if I have visited the Taj Mahal. My answer to them is usually a sheepish "no". Being an only child, you tend to be overcompensated in some areas - in my case, my mom's over-protectiveness. Fearing that some calamity might befall her only progeny, she always made sure I never left her sight, thus curbing any kind of travel that might take me away from her. Yet, as weird as parents can be, she sent me several thousand kilometres apart, entrusted into the care of someone she had hardly met, in the name of marriage. Even after crossing over to the other side of the parenting fence, I still find it hard to comprehend the oddity of parents. But yeah, I am digressing as usual.....anyway back to the legend of the Taj.

There are historical claims that this ancient mausoleum once used to be a Hindu temple, but the obvious story known to the world is that this architectural wonder was built as an "elegy in marble" by a Mughal emperor for his dear wife and queen Mumtaz Mahal. Now any woman with a few grey cells (and a few grey hairs perhaps) might wonder why such an elaborate and elegant gift to a wife without any strings attached, especially a posthumous gift.....and especially this being a Muslim king with a penchant for women. Well, we all know the famous adage "love is blind", so lets skip reading the fine print. However despite my jaded outlook, the splendour of Taj Mahal has remained undiminished and has always been known as a symbol of love and an eternal tribute of a husband's loyalty and love to his wife.

So yesterday I wake up and still snuggled warm under the covers, ask my hubby about Valentine's day. It is something that we have never paid any attention to all our married life and this year was not going to be any different. But then some women are very optimistic and I happen to be one of them, ah well atleast lately :) He then tells me that if he had the money, he would build me a room fitted with all kinds of technological gadgets to keep me amused and cater me with all facilities. There would literally be no need to step out of the room for anything.

Even before I could revel in the pleasure his words bring me, my last (and least) remaining grey cells kick into action and still hazy, I open my eyes just in time to watch that cheeky smile flitting across his face. Ha, my female counterparts, aren't we so used to looking the gift horse in the mouth :) I usually like to have my sleep-ins during the weekends, so the kids and hubby are used to having some peace and quiet in the house till I wake up. Once I am up, then being a compulsive cleaning freak, I start fretting about things strewn about and the house being in a mess. Generally my weekends start with my whining decibels higher than the whirring of any cleaning equipment I am operating.

So when my darling hubby dreams of having me interred in my sophisticated and modern mausoleum, my warning bells do go ringing big time. And there I was imagining my own Taj Mahal, when all he wanted was to turn me into another Mrs.Rochester :) Now you wonder why I treat the story of the Taj Mahal with a liberal dash of the salt !!! I look at him balefully and before I slink back under the covers I tell him not to forget to add a connecting door to the garage from my room. He then breaks into a big goofy grin that I cannot resist returning.

Life with me is a bed of roses........what, can't I pretend for a while.......allright, it is rather a bed of rose shrubs, beautiful as it is with blooming blossoms, you also have the thorns to contend with. But my personal gardener, given his saintly patience has taken care of the shrub, tending to it day and night and giving his utmost care. At times the bush tends to run wild but he prunes it, despite the thorns that leave him bleeding, and shapes it in a way that makes not just his heart to glow but also brings the beauty of that rose-plant to the world.

Nobody is perfect, but with the true sense of hope and faith and a dash of love, one can see beyond the other's imperfections. After all isn't the message of Valentine's day that of promise and hope???

Happy Roses, my gardener :)

Et tu Brute???

"I know you feel betrayed."
"Well, yes, that is one of the unpleasant side effects of betrayal."
— from Buffy the Vampire Slayer

When I was a kid my dad used to push me into taking part in mono-acting competitions.......well literally at times. I remember hovering near the doors refusing to enter the room. It wasn't stage fright that had me petrified but the fear of being pelted with rotten tomatoes or eggs while I stood there spouting Shakespeare. My dad's fascination with the great bard used to land me in hot water all the time.

It was hard enough playing a single role in these plays, but try alternating between different characters - I always ended up emptying the rooms of their audiences pretty quickly. There was always a stupefied silence that greeted me at the end of my plays and it had very little to do with my thespian skills.....it was siesta time to the remaining members thanks to my dad and Shakespeare. Well, I seem to be getting off the tangent here - my post has nothing much to do with any of any this, except that it was there that I learnt to memorize the famous words of Caesar when he confronted Brutus. "Et tu, Brute?" has now become synonymous with every single betrayal out there. Perhaps if Shakespeare had managed to be born in the right era, his words would have been apt for the crown-jewel of betrayals leading the King of Kings to his Crucifixion.

Why talk about betrayals today? Look around the world and you would see its seal stamped on every single aspect of life - with friendships and relationships bearing the worst brunt of it. No arena is exempt from this sneaky intruder - religion, politics, work or social life. Currently in the political world, I can see President Mubarak endorsing the words in this blog.....he probably sees the stance taken by the US as betrayal while the latter continues its ideological stance. As for the pro-democrats, well, that would be an entirely different story. However, let me not dabble in the irrational field of politics, especially the Middle-East, but instead continue with my rambling.

Little does one realise that life is nothing but a sequence of mono-acting sessions where you get to play different characters with passing of time and emotions. Perhaps we all get to play Caesar and Brutus in real life, sometimes ironically both roles in the same shoes. Victims or perpetrators of betrayals at one time or the other….I bet you don’t reach my age without going through a few of them. By all means I am no exception to these....as the years sped by relieving me of my naivety and innocence, I grew accustomed to betrayals - even learnt to dole out a few, but mind you they were more opportunistic or unintentional in nature than premeditated, not that they mitigated the guilt or remorse any better on my side or mollified the wronged party.

So here comes my question, does one ever get used or numbed to the sting of betrayal? Amorphous in nature, betrayals are not easy to be divined. A snub, a stance, a word, a broken promise, a selfish agenda, a hasty judgement, a kiss.......even silence, they do come in all shapes and guises, sprung upon on unsuspecting souls. The hapless victim gets ensnared in a web of deceit and falsehood or unmet expectations, with the only exit doors marked “betrayal” leading to a dark world of bitterness and ultimate disillusionment. And just when one would have found the strength to crawl back in the world of living, bingo…….another betrayal!!!

But hey, playing the devil's advocate, is life any better for the Judases of this world? There is very little said of our anti-hero in the Bible but passages do indicate that he paid for the price of iniquity and how.......with his own life. Perhaps the tiny voice of his conscience that he failed to quell emboldened into a full-sized jury condemning him to self-castigation. I most definitely would like to claim selective amnesia and not recall the tales of Lady Macbeth or that of Brutus (thank you Dad).......but nevertheless one cannot deny these prime examples of guilt, unable to come to terms with the consequences of their acts........ah remorse, what a killer emotion are thou?

Well, who are we after all to complain about betrayals in today’s world of fragile and ever-shifting affiliations and priorities? The Lord himself was not exempt from this affliction and I am not referring just to Judas here........despite theologists rendering different interpretations to the words of Jesus on the Crucifix "Oh God Oh God, why has thou forsaken me?", the feelings of abandonment and disillusionment that Jesus experienced during His last hours have set a precedent for most mortals on this earth.

But yet we learn to continue on this life's journey to where it takes us........definitely more jaded, more wary but definitely a lot wiser. Happy Trails !!!!